Caffeine does NOT fuel meditation! Wow! What thoughts! What noise!
Liz writes: "I look at the Augusteum and I think perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic after all. It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all, that nobody could have anticipated. The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to or what function I may once have intended to serve. Yesterday, I might have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough - but tomorrow I could be a fireworks depository. Even in the eternal city, says the silent Augesteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformations" p 75
She's being prepared for her spiritual transformation. The groundwork is being laid. She's learning to accept life on life's terms. "Glorious monument" to "fireworks display" could be her journey after this book. She may have to go back to writing for magazines. The theme, lately, in my life seems to be, "through all this, God has a plan". Even though it may be rough going, God has a plan. So, "Eat, Pray, Love" may be her "glorious monument" to her spiritual transformation. What will be her "fireworks display"? What will be my glorious monument? What will by my fireworks display?
Italy is preparing her for India which is preparing her for Indonesia I suspect. What am I being prepared for right now? (Looking back, I now see what I was being prepared for. It is helpful, almost vital [maybe completely vital] to remember that through all this, God has a plan.) As I do what seems to be the right thing, following the general direction of God's lead, what's next? I don't know. All I can do is set my sails and let God's winds blow me where they will. God has a plan. And, it will be revealed to me as I need to know it (wise words from the fingers of a man who didn't even know how true and poignant they were).
"Next to the arch is a church where you can walk in for free and see the paintings by Canvaggio of St. Paul (so overcome by grace that he has fallen to the ground in holy rapture; not even his horse can believe it) p 73 Bwa ha ha ha ha!
I wonder again what I'm doing here. I wonder what I'm doing with this blog (this poop monster). I don't know. But I'm doing it. It seems like a good idea. It seems like the right thing to do and I don't even know the purpose of it. It could be preparing me for something else. Maybe it could bring people back to books. Maybe it's about sharing ideas (with myself?), openly and freely.
My imagination comes up with all sorts of crazy outcomes: a friendship with the author, the lawyers hunting me down to say I can't write this. I have to let this all go. I have to become willing to accept that absolutely nothing will come out of this. I have to write for writing's sake. I have to be willing to be ok regardless of what happens. Because, I don't know why I'm doing this. I just know I want to do it. I guess that ought to be enough for now. There may be a better reason unbeknownst to me, unrevealed, still mysterious. Hell, it could be a dead end. But, at least I walked down that road.
I want to include my best friend in my book. He has been a great partner in creativity in my life. So, already, I have irons in the fire. What fire? Who knows? But, at least I'm putting irons somewhere rather than up my butt next to my thumb. It's exciting. I race past myself sometimes. All kinds of ideas about my book are coming to me. I'm not going to record them here just in case they get stolen from all the people not reading this.
Maybe, I can actually start my blog (wow! it took me this long to actually just consider starting it!) Well, it's just for me and all my idiosyncrasies, misspellings, bad grammar and mixed metaphors. It's up to God whether it gets read. All I have to do is write it.
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