These are Liz's last few days in India.
"I believe that all the world's religions share, at their core, a desire to find a transporting metaphor. p. 205 I couldn't agree more.
I've fallen off my spiritual practice this week. I haven't prayed or meditated since Monday (this is Friday). And, today I'm feeling a little befogged and wretched because I was up very late last night writing a new story that has, in fact, invaded my head (see post from 2/27). I couldn't write fast enough. I wrote for hours at a time, until my hands were dull, the pads of my fingers dented from holding the pen, my neck ached and my eyes almost crossed.
I'm feeling wretched because I am, again, hundreds of dollars overdrawn in my bank account. But, I'm told, "do not be discouraged."
As I write, filling the pages of my journal, I have lost track of what has brought me here. Out of distraction and the wandering, forgetful excitement of my fickle mind, I let this new adventure in creativity lead me away from the source.
Liz helped me get closer, if even minutely, to God. She helped me see that I need to strengthen and deepen my devotion. And, because Of that newly opening channel a story fell through. Now, like a child on Christmas I'm playing with this new toy. Therefore, I'm letting the channel close.
Tagore reminds me: "I come out of my meditations and leave aside my flowers and incense. What harm if my clothes become tattered and stained? I meet You and stand by You in toil and in the sweat of my brow."
I need to make the effort. While, it would seem (in interpreting what Tagore wrote) that I can meet God at work, I see it as I must meet God in action. Prayer and meditation are vital. Without them I wouldn't be here. Its because of those practices that I've started to commune with God in my small way and have been brought to more creativity - the result of an active partnership with God. I must keep the channel open.
I'm like a child who has learned how to ride a bike. I want to ride my bike all day, forgetting the chores and responsibilities I must attend to on a daily basis that, being done, showed my parents that I was responsible and mature enough to have a bike (which my chore money paid for). Out of my own neglect and irresponsibility I could loose the new joy. I'm still learning.
However, I must not forget the source from which this new idea, this new creativity came. Liz writes, "Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to keep searching for the metaphors, rituals and teachers that will help you move even closer to divinity." p. 206 We all reach God, "just as rivers enter the ocean."
The Hopi Indians thought that the world's religions each contained one spiritual thread, and that these threads are always seeking each other, wanting to join. When all the threads are finally woven together, they will form a rope that will pull us out of this dark cycle of history and into the next realm." p 208 I think it means the next realm of human experience; a new era on this earth; past the technology age. Perhaps a new age of enlightenment.
I must continue to search, lest my spirit atrophies, stagnates and dies. Like Pope Pius XI said, "The ways of Providence are infinite."
I'm only asked to seek - that is my charge. Bod doesn't see too hard conditions for those who seek him. I must not forget that and get distracted by my obsession to write. The obsession without the gift from the Great Creator will be . . . poo poo.
The gift is there. It will unfold like the unwrapping of a present. I must simply take care, with gentle spiritual hands, not to crush it with my clumsy selfishness. God will continue to provide if I will continue to seek.
"Don't we each have the right to not stop seeking until we get as close to the source of wonder as possible? Even if it means coming to India and kissing trees in the moonlight for awhile?
"That's me in the corner, in other words. That's me in the spotlight. Choosing my religion" p. 208
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