Apparently, in Bali, the day of the week on which you were born is more important than the year. Ketut was born on a Thursday and "the patron god of children born on Thursdays is Shiva, the destroyer . . . And, the day has two guiding animal spirits - the lion and the tiger. The official tree of children born on Thursday is the banyan. The official bird is the peacock. A person born on Thursday is always talking first, interrupting everyone else, can be a little aggressive, tends to be handsome (a 'playboy' or 'playgirl' in Ketut's words), but has a decent overall character, with an excellent memory and desire to help other people." p. 240 Ketut knows all this, but he doesn't know how old he is.
Out of curiosity, I looked up my birthday (it was a Wednesday). And, after noodling around a few Balinese astrology websites, I found this:
Rabu Legi fellows are the strict followers of the social codes of conduct and always want people to think good of them. You are well-balanced and sensitive and fairness is one of your top priorities. You cannot tolerate injustice being done to anybody. As far as your friends and associates are concerned, you can go to any extent to keep a good liaison with them (not sure what that means). You value your family members and a very few close friends of your a lot (it's as if Ketut, in his charming broken English, wrote this himself) People think of you to be wise and knowledgeable and you do not like interfering in other people's business.
My deity, or patron spirit is Vishna (preserver). My animal is the snake. The official tree is the Ancack. The official bird is the Pigeon. My symbol is Tangis (tears). Apparently, a person born on Wednesday is good at problem solving. They spend more time helping friends and outsiders than taking care of their family. They have a lot of expectations out of life. This may cause them many disappointments. People born on this day may be upset and sad. They may not be able to think straight. They are not motivated and feel like a loser. They are not ready to take on the responsibilities of new projects. They may spend their time solving other people's problems . . . so says the Internet.
I tried something today during my meditation. I tried smiling with my liver (like Ketut suggested), with my lungs, my stomach, my guts, my heart. An eagerness to smile stirred up in my whole body. And, a sigh, a content sigh forced itself upon me, like a happy child crawling into your lap. Then, I turned the smiling towards my feet, my legs, my hands, my arms, up my spine and out the top of my head, until I imagined myself a smiling flower turned towards the sun (there goes my tough-guy image) . . . all the while breathing in with "Hum" and out with "Sah".
Then, I replaced "Hum-sah" with "I am one with God". I repeated that over and over, and it seemed (felt, whatever) as if I was dropping down out of my head. My attention seemed to get stuck in my throat. Maybe, that had something to do with my voice, actual or symbolic. Then, it felt like my inner self dropped into my heart, but the buoyancy of my thoughts, strapped to my inner self's arms like water wings, kept me from slipping down. I hung there for a few moments, looking up at the racing, random movie of my thoughts, until I wondered, when will my 20 minutes be up? That broke my concentration.
I like this smiling idea when it comes to meditation, because I love to laugh. Maybe, I can find a connection, a channel this way. I'm, of course, new to all this. I don't really know what I'm doing. Hopefully, I'm not dropping into myself, deeper into the isolation of my thoughts. But, all I have been asked to do is seek. Seek God.
As far as I have been told, meditation is part of the seeking, no matter how bad I am at it. And, if I'm doing it wrong, may some one come along, bonk me on the head and say, "you're doing it wrong". I'm grateful that it doesn't say anywhere that God demands we do it "right". That would put me off. I just have to wade out into the deep end and, like the parent teaching the child how to swim, God will lift me to the surface if my head goes under water for too long.
I wonder what the spiritual equivalent to water up your nose is.
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