Even the topical paradise of Bali, "The Island of the Gods" had a tumultuous past. Perhaps this is part of the reason the people there had found a spiritual, aesthetic and artistic balance. Because of the wreckage of the past, the corruption of the government and the force of an unfair caste system that the people there need the balance. Perhaps their spiritual life is so powerful, the practice of their rituals so precise and disciplined that they can "match calamity with serenity".
Perhaps we all need struggle. Perhaps we need the horrors of the past to balance out the beauty of the present. Without hardship, we couldn't appreciate peace and serenity. If life was always beautiful, I know I would take it for granted. I need a long, scary night to appreciate and welcome ("with the desperation of a man with his hair on fire seeking a bucket of water) the dawn.
I needed to be beaten up pretty bad (albeit, not as bad as others, though bad enough) before I accepted the new paradise that God is slowly building in my life. And, the horrid past is actually gold in recovery. My past is not something I want to sweep under the carpet, cover up with a brave face or try to forget. It's something I can and want to use to help others. Maybe, some one out there is going through what I went through. And, what joy and relief if might bring them to know that not only had some one else did exactly what they have done, but also they survived it and have gone on to live a happy, peaceful and productive life.
It seems to me Bali is the perfect place to find balance. The people there have found it. Perhaps the Balinese people's survival of their rocky past can teach Liz about the survival of hers . . . and, how to survive her rocky future. Perhaps, they can teach us all about how to navigate the really tough times and still live life as if we are in paradise.
I've all but given up on the idea of waking up at 8 am. My fiancee comes home so late. I don't really fall asleep after she's come to bed. My friend and spiritual adviser suggested I try meditating while lying on the floor (a technique I've used in Alexander Technique classes). I tried it . . . and fell asleep. I actually snored. But, trying something once and failing at it is no reason to give up completely.
It was while writing the first draft of this blog, I decided to "advertise" my blog on Facebook. I figured if I wanted to be a writer, I'd have to get my work out there. This was a scary step for me. To some one else, being afraid of advertising a blog is as silly as being afraid to create a Facebook page (then, OH MY GOD, posting something!! Hold me!). I don't know, maybe coming at something late in life (and being very concerned about people's opinions) has raised the stakes. Maybe some one else out there is afraid to take a Karate class because they're afraid they'll look like a fool, an Italian class because they're afraid they'll sound like a fool, a cooking class, a drawing class . . . . Anyway, what the hell, like I've been told before: "take the action and leave the results up to God."
No comments:
Post a Comment